This day is so much more for me, over and above celebrating the women of this world, how far we have come, and the journey that lies ahead. This day symbolizes a pivotal part in my own personal journey. I want to share that with you today, as it is not something I have publicly spoke about in detail.
On International Women’s Day 2017, the slogan was #beboldforchange. The words alone ignited a fire in my belly, a feeling still very present to this day. I remember the morning clearly. I was sitting on my couch, sipping my coffee, reflecting on my journey as a woman through the adversity of the corporate world. I was proud that none of my career accolades had been handed to me. I worked my tail off to get to where I was and I was incredibly proud of myself for what I had achieved. I was 10-20 years younger than most of my peers, most of which were men. Yet none of that made me wonder whether or not I could stand alongside them as an equal. I commanded the respect by showing up powerfully with my own presence and confidence in what I had to offer. I took up the space that I knew I deserved to be in. Still, I wasn’t blind. I fully recognized that men had a much higher representation in middle management, and even more so at the Senior and Executive levels. The statistics are very real and it needs to change. Yet, I never doubted my ability to reach great heights as a woman. It was never if. It was when.
I remember going into deep thought that morning about what mysterious code I must have cracked in order to accomplish these types of things with a seemingly large amount of ease. Was it who I knew? Was it the extra hours I put in? Was it my ownership of results? My ability to lead and influence? My ability to get from point A to point B as efficiently as possible? Was it my brutal honesty in meetings? Was it my ability to engage my teams and drive results? Was it the fact that I never allowed myself to feel intimidated by the powers that be? Maybe it was a combination of all of the above. Yet none of it held a candle to the sudden and profound realization I had that morning. I had an ability to succeed at whatever I put my mind to, because I stood firmly in my own power, as a woman. Whether the odds or statistics were against me or not – I stood tall and I stood strong. For such, I was rewarded greatly with whatever I chose to lock my crosshairs onto. Some call it manifestation. I see it as more of personal commandment of worth and deservingness.
I could hold my own in a volatile board room of up to 90% men with 4x the experience I had, the same way I could hold the hand of a woman on my team while she found her footing through her divorce.
I could engage a room full of 6-figure to multiple 6-figure business leaders in a conference room, the same way I could engage my employees in a team building obstacle course in someone’s back yard.
I could stand firmly against a policy and take on the responsibility of building a new one, the same way I could take on the responsibility of misstepping and experiencing failure.
I stood in my power through all of it, even when my style of leadership often raised an eyebrow. I spent time helping my team manage personal road blocks that were ultimately creating professional road blocks, and in turn negatively impacting their own metrics. I incorporated personal development tools, team building activities, reflection days and a whole other arsenal of unorthodox approaches in a world of black and white business. I had an ability to see people in an entirely different way, and as a result, I lead them with an entirely different approach. I had operated this way since my first leadership role at the age of 21, and I stood firmly in my approach for the next ten years.
So there I was on my couch, still in my housecoat with a half drank cold cup of coffee, beginning to feel something huge unfolding. I had paved the way for myself, and now I needed to pave the way for others. For the women who had not yet discovered their own power, or understood the value and rewards of standing in it tall and strong. Then came the realization that without a natural ability to stand in one’s power, a safe container for growth needed to be created. An environment where women could feel free to cultivate the power that already existed within them, until they felt bold and strong enough to stand in their power on their own. I felt the excitement rising within me.
By this time it was around 9am, and I had taken note of the fact that my organization had not recognized International Women’s Day. Hmmm… There was nothing in our e-mail. Nothing in the online portal and no discussions or events taking place for the women in the organization. My excitement was slowly being replaced with a sinking feeling in my stomach because I knew what I was being called to do. Be Bold for Change.
Our Value of Diversity: International Women’s Day was the title of the e-mail. I felt the irony of it all hit me like a ton of bricks when I typed the names of those who had the power to help me inflict this change in the “To:” box. They were all men. Every single one of them. There was not a single woman in any of these senior and executive positions that would have any steering power for the change that needed to occur. With a deep breathe, I began to type. The e-mail was crafted in such a way that provided both education and solutions (and a slight touch of: it’s time to wake up, gentlemen…). I entered into some sort of vortex that I came out of two hours later as I reviewed the e-mail one last time before hitting send. It was the most powerful piece of writing I have ever created, even still to this present day. My mind was clear. My heart was full. I was proud. And…I was also not naive. I knew that by hitting send, it would be up to me to withstand any backlash that could come as a result. And so I surrendered.
It was brilliantly written, Sarah. Did your husband help you write it?
The responses that came in over e-mail and in person over the next 2 days had me in a state of shock. Disbelief. None of it was intentionally malicious, but it was a glaring state of ignorance at best. It left me questioning everything. Was I proud? If I wasn’t proud, was I actually successful? Is the corporate ladder really what I wanted to achieve? Am I actually being responsible by clinging to my career? Words escaped me, which was rare for someone as outspoken and as bold of a career woman as I was. It’s like my throat chakra slammed itself shut in order to protect me from the anger, confusion and ugliness that was brewing within me. I was beginning to realize that without the confidence to stand in her own power, career dreams for a woman would be unnecessarily difficult due to societal and corporate ignorance alone. There was a reel of women flashing through my mind, never achieving their dreams in a system that wasn’t set up for their success unless they had the courage I had. This realization extended far beyond my own organization, as I was beginning to see how very real this issue still was in 2017. It was dizzying. My higher self recognized that my usual bullet-proof level of emotional intelligence was eroding by the minute and I was on the verge of erupting. My husband and my parents took the brunt of it all for a good 48 hours as I released the steam that had built up at an alarming rate.
Throughout the chaos, I heard this little voice. It was as faint as a whisper, but I heard it loud and clear. Save your energy, Sarah. This isn’t the fight you’re meant to be fighting. There’s greater work to be done.
I knew after this emotionally volatile experience, I was changed forever – yet at the time I didn’t know what it all meant. I just knew there was no going backwards now. I was being called forward for something as a universal force flooded me with broken record that kept saying: Be the change. Be the change. Be the change. Be the change.
BE the change?! I would exclaim back to this invisible voice. What does that even mean?!
This isn’t your platform, Sarah. A platform?! What is a platform?!
The next few months were a haze. I entered into an all out war with myself. My higher self was calling me forward to create large scale impact in a way I couldn’t even yet see, as the societal definitions of responsibility, success & achievement kept me trudging my angry ass to work every day. It wasn’t long before my mind gave up and could barely form a thought, let alone a strategy. My soul was exhausted from trying to get me to listen and my body was physically wrecked from a poor level of self care.
I wish I could say my big leap was inspiringly smooth. It wasn’t. It was messy AF. If I could draw it, it would look like one of those movie scenes where someone is running away from something terrifying, and then they trip and fall and end up rolling and tumbling down a slope, bouncing off of trees and rocks for what seems like an unnecessarily long period of time before coming to rest at the bottom, questioning whether or not they’re awake, asleep, dead or something confusing in between.
I recognize this now as the inevitable breakdown, before the beautiful breakthrough. There was so much within me, so much coming at me, and only flames of fear spilling out of me. Little did I know at the time, that I was in the midst of the greatest awakening I had ever experienced. I had done so much personal development work that I had worked myself right into a corner, knowing that only I was responsible for fixing this and stepping into the highest level of power I knew existed within me. A level of leadership and responsibility that terrified me beyond words.
In January of 2018 I started my business with nothing other than a Facebook group (Shout out to the Life Intentionally family!) and this little voice in my mind that told me to just trust myself. By March, a new seed had been planted, unbeknownst to me. I had embarked on a women’s empowerment weekend in California, feeling shocked to meet so many Canadians I had never heard of before, who were all doing incredible things. Why did I have to go all the way to California to come to know so many epic Canadians? Why don’t I know them already? Why isn’t there a platform for Canadian women? It was a thought that stuck to my soul like Gorilla glue, and the little voice came back with a vengeance. Create it. This is it. The leadership responsibility of representing and taking a stand for Canadian women to claim their own power felt like the weight of the world. Who am I to do this!? A week before launching, my fear almost convinced me to change my brand name entirely to Soul Hustle. Can you imagine?! After a short but effective lecture on fear from my little sister (which I had given her in the past) it was decided. On July 1st 2018 also known as Canada Day, The Great Canadian Woman brand was born. This is your platform, Sarah. The little voice whispered with a sign of relief, knowing that I had finally figured it out. Sometimes it takes me a while. I am a Taurus after all…
Through empowerment coaching, business consulting, live events, blogs, books and the Great Canadian Woman podcast, this platform has impacted thousands of women directly, and one can only estimate the reach of the ripple effect. Women have launched businesses, left jobs that don’t feed their soul, asked for their worth in pay and received it, left toxic relationships, discovered their own worth and love for themselves, established the highest levels of self respect, shared their stories, grown their businesses, helped other women start their businesses, and the list goes on…
On International Women’s Day 2017, I was spitting flames, trying to push an idea onto a group of people who weren’t ready to understand it. Today, just two years later, The Great Canadian Woman Podcast was chosen to be a part of Apple’s Inspiring Women campaign for International Women’s Day 2019. The Great Canadian Woman platform is the safe container for growth that I was attempting to build back in 2017, but that little voice was just telling me to build it somewhere else, and make it a little bigger. 😉
Be the change. Command the change. I had to. We all have to.
Happy International Women’s Day 2019! May you all be blessed with #balanceforbetter